Hi there,

A couple weeks ago, I caught myself becoming the person I thought I thought I had outgrown.

Picture Enkhi and me, sitting having a serious meeting about our life, a business opportunity had fallen through. We decided to move, again. This time from LA to North Carolina, with a baby, a full apartment’s worth of belongings, and no clear plan.

(Here’s where anxiety starts to build up)

Cue the spreadsheet rabbit hole: moving trucks, road trip costs, storage units, flights, U-Haul, gas, time, stress.

I started obsessing over how to spend the least amount of money. I tend to be “practical” like that. It’s a learned pattern from my mom for sure…

That’s when I noticed it.

Not just the anxiety, not just the heaviness in my chest or the tension in my jaw. I noticed the story I was telling myself, it was a scarcity loop:

I don’t have enough…
I am not enough…

I’ve lived this loop before. As a kid wearing soccer cleats two sizes too big so they’d last. As a college student who finally had abundance and used it to party, to show off, to convince myself I had enough and I was enough. As a high performer who oscillated between six-figure contracts and seasons of zero income.

When I strip the narrative of hustle, purpose, service, or even self-worth, the same pattern remains:

Fear. Lack. Overcorrection. Disconnection.

But this time, I saw it. I caught it in real time. And instead of defaulting into the old loop, I paused.

That pause is where becoming begins.

This is the 5-step system I return to and now teach clients who feel stuck in the same version of themselves. It starts after your Why. We do that work first. Then we build.

1. Clarify Your Vision & Identity-Based Goals (The “What”)

This isn’t about your to-do list. It’s about the person you’re choosing to become—the identity driving your goals.

That week, I had to ask myself:

Who do I want to be as we make this move?

The man who fears scarcity and chooses stress to save $400? Or the man who makes aligned decisions because he trusts what he’s building?

So I wrote it down:

“I am the man who makes decisions from abundance.”

Then I made it bigger: My family, an adventure of love. My business, growing again. Our move, a transition not a trauma. Staying longer in Mongolia, a blessing!

Want to try it? Start here:

Identity: “I am the person who…”
Proof: “You can tell because I…”

(In Reforged, this is the first step too: clarity on who you’re becoming, not just what you’re doing.)

2. Strategize & Plan Your Path (The “How”)

Once the vision is clear, the logistics matter. But planning from fear creates pressure. Planning from alignment creates momentum.

Instead of spiraling in money math, we broke it down:

What’s the actual timeline?
What’s our energy capacity?
Where do we need help?

We explored options. Got quotes. Considered the baby’s needs, my work schedule, our well-being. And yeah, the cost…

But we didn’t make the cheapest choice. We made the one that aligned with the version of us we’re becoming, our simple 12-week plan for this season.

Want to do the same? Break your goal down:

Monthly intention
Weekly checkpoint
One next right step (Today, this is the point of focus)

And if the plan feels overwhelming, pause and ask: what story am I believing right now?

(In the program we call this “Set”: aligning plans with your energy, values, and North Star.)

3. Take Consistent, Imperfect Action (The “Do”)

This one’s not sexy. It’s the reps. The boring, unglamorous stuff that builds your next identity. This is where people fall short 99.9% of the time.

For me, it was:

Honoring my time blocks
Getting back to client outreach
Saying no to one more tweak of the moving plan

The resistance never disappears. But now I see it as a signal: this is how growth feels.

Start small. Give yourself a daily focus. Track it. Don’t aim for perfect, aim for today done. (This is how you quietly rebuild self-trust inside a the plan.)

(In Reforged, we build systems that make the reps easier to repeat.)

4. Cultivate a Resilient Mindset (The “Overcome”)

The moment I noticed the old story, I didn’t shame it. I met it.

Of course you’re scared. You’ve been here before. But you’re not that kid anymore.

Your nervous system doesn’t know the difference between danger and discomfort. That’s where the inner work happens. Observing thoughts. Challenging beliefs. And most importantly, choosing your hard.

The cheap decision might save money. But it costs energy, time, presence.

This season, I’m choosing the hard that leads to expansion.

(That’s why Anchor work matters so much: regulating your state, choosing your hard, and trusting yourself when the fear loop kicks in.)

5. Review, Adjust & Amplify (The “Evolve”)

Becoming isn’t a straight line. It’s not a circle either, although it feels this way at times.

Why? Because it’s a spiral.

Some days you feel 80% there. Some days you’re back at zero. The work is showing up again. Adjusting. Reflecting. Recommitting.

Focus on the only battle that truly matters, the one against yourself yesterday. A simple weekly review keeps you honest about who you’ve been—and if those actions are taking you where you want to go.

Because, as I often remind myself:

“Every moment defines who you are and who you’re becoming.”

And I find that so peaceful.

Keep becoming,
Your friend and coach,
Carlos

Reply “FOCUS” and I’ll send you the 3-min Focus Quiz to spot your biggest opportunity this quarter + a simple 12 week plan & weekly review checklist.
P.S. Forward this to someone who you appreciate and want to progress with.