Burnout doesn’t start where you think

This week has been full.

New projects.
New pressure.
A lot of moving parts.

And as I step into it with fresh eyes, I notice something in the room.

Not in me—at least not yet—but around me.

Tiredness.
Tightness.
A hint of resentment.

Not because of how much there is to be done,
but because of how people are talking about it.

“I have to.”
“We need to.”
“They want us to.”

It sounds responsible.
It even sounds professional.

But it feels heavy.

Somewhere along the way,
the calendar stopped feeling like a choice
and started feeling like a judge.

Late at night,
looking at tomorrow’s meetings,
I caught myself thinking:

Can I actually keep this pace?
Will I end up like them?

And then, I noticed it!

The moment life turns into “have to’s,”
ownership quietly slips away.

We stop being drivers.
We become passengers.

And when that happens,
procrastination makes sense.

Not because we’re lazy,
and not because we lack clarity,
but because the body feels ordered around.

Threat.
Pressure.
No room to breathe.

So we delay.
We overthink.
We doom-scroll.

It doesn’t mean we don’t care.
It means it doesn’t feel chosen.

I started paying attention to the language.

“I need to work to make money.”
Suddenly money is the boss.

“We need to solve this problem.”
Now the problem feels bigger than us.

“We need to grow.”
Growth turns into a bully.

Same reality.
Different relationship.

And that relationship changes everything.

A few years ago,
a friend of mine, Chris Cullen,
introduced me to a tiny shift.

“I have to” → “I get to”.

At first it sounded cheesy.

Then I tried it.

“I get to lead this meeting.”
“I get to have this hard conversation.”
“I get to show up again.”

Something changed.

Not the task.
Me.

It didn’t remove stress.
It changed my posture toward it.

I wasn’t being pushed.
I was choosing.

And that choice mattered more than motivation.

The brain responds differently
when actions come from identity
instead of obligation.

Repetition does the rest.

Each time you say “I get to,”
you’re casting a small vote.

For agency.
For ownership.
For the kind of person you’re becoming.

You don’t need to do this all day.

Just once is enough.

So here’s the experiment for this week.

Pick one thing you’re resisting.

A client.
A meeting.
An accountant.
A responsibility you’re tired of carrying.

Catch yourself in the “I have to…”

Pause.
Reframe it to “I get to.”

Not in a fake way.
In an honest one.

Then notice what happens in your body.

More space.
Less tension.
A little more willingness.

Burnout doesn’t start with workload.
It starts with language.

And choice is often closer than we think.

If you haven’t yet, do yourself a favor and read Chris’s book:
I Get To: Change Your Words Change Your Life.

If you have a story about how changing your language
and the shifts you experienced

Hit reply and share them with me!

I’d love to hear you.

Your friend and coach,

Carlos