EASE Out Your Inner Critic in Less Than 3 Minutes

Hi there!

“I’m not qualified for this job, there are so many experienced candidates. What if I mess it up? I don’t have what it takes, why apply?”

Let’s talk about our inner critic and the rabbit hole we often fall into when we listen to it.

Rick Carson introduced the term Gremlins to describe the inner critic back in 1983, with his book Taming Your Gremlin.

Since then, many authors, coaches, and thought leaders have used the concept of “Gremlin” to refer to the negative, self-critical messages that come from our minds.

The Rabbit Hole Effect

We become trapped in a negative thought spiral, starting with an initial criticism, triggering a cascade of negative thoughts. This creates strong emotional responses such as anxiety, sadness, or anger, deepening the negative spiral.

Confirmation Bias: Our minds focus only on information that confirms these negative thoughts, ignoring evidence to the contrary.

Results? Overwhelm and Inaction

How Does the Gremlin Trick You into The Rabbit Hole?

Let's build awareness of these internal dialogues that undermine us by questioning our confidence, fueling our self-doubt, and impeding our progress:

1. “What if you fail?”

2. “People will judge you.”

3. “You don’t deserve it.”

4. “It’s too late to change.”

5. “I’m I not good enough?”

6. “What is wrong with me?”

7. “You always mess things up.”

8. “You’ll never be as good as them.”

9. “Everyone will find out that you’re a fraud.”

What Happens in The Rabbit Hole

The turbulence escalates!

It usually involves two stages, the order of which depends on the individual situation and the message that triggered us.

1. The Victim Stage is characterized by feelings of powerlessness and avoidance:

• External Blame: Blaming others and situations

• Self-Pity: Seeking sympathy from others.

• Escapism: Using distractions and substance use to numb the pain.

• Isolation: Withdrawing from social activities due to anxiety.

2. The Confrontation Stage involves internal conflicts and harsh self-judgment:

• Negative Self-Talk: Harsh self-criticism and unfounded comparisons.

• Feeling Deep Anger and Pain: Anger at oneself, which increases emotional pain.

• Challenging Actions: Risk-taking or overworking to prove worth.

How to Get Out of The Rabbit Hole

Transitioning from either stage requires adopting a mindset of responsibility, concern, or reconciliation.

Here’s my 3-minute secret, EASE out of it:

1. Expose: Acknowledge the presence of the Gremlin.

2. Accept: Understand why it’s part of your psyche.

3. Soothe: Apply self-care and compassion to reduce the Gremlin’s power.

4. Empower: Let go of the Gremlin’s control over you.

If you're interested in learning more about the EASE process to really learn how to disempower your inner critic, click below.

♻️ Sharing is caring! If you know someone that could benefit from learning how to EASE out of their inner critic's grip, forward them this email!

Stay tuned, as Thursday's email will explore How to Stay on Top When We're There.

Keep Growing,

Your coach and friend,

Carlos

Bonus!

Enhance Your Understanding with Audiobooks and TEDTalks:

If you're not already an Audible subscriber, grab your first audiobook for free by clicking the image below. Here are my top recommendations:

Audiobooks:

Kristin Neff: Her work emphasizes the power of self-compassion to combat the inner critic. This approach is pivotal for those seeking to transform their internal dialogue.

Brené Brown: Dive into the insights of "The Gifts of Imperfection" through Brené's engaging discussions, ideal for fans of podcasts and recorded workshops.

TED Talks on Youtube

Rick Hanson's TED x Marin Talk: Explore techniques to transform your inner critic into an ally, shifting adversarial internal dialogues to ones of support.

Melissa Ambrosini's TED x Monash University Talk: Understand the profound impacts of the inner critic on personal growth and self-esteem, and learn strategies to mitigate its effects.

Note: The links to the books are affiliate links, which means I may earn a commission if you decide to make a purchase through them, at no additional cost to you. This helps support our work and allows us to continue bringing you valuable content.