Grit Starts With Fear

Going to try something different for this one.

I'm writing this from an airplane to Atlanta, 
hoping to send it before the next flight to Seoul.

Leaving my girls for the first time for a few months.

Starting a new challenge.
Extremely exciting.
Also high risk.

I’m noticing what’s here.

The fear of being apart.
The fear of a new beginning.
The fear of falling back into old cycles.

Fear on many fronts.

I wanted to share a few thoughts with you
for this first week of the year.

Fear has always been present in my life.
A constant.
One I’ve hated.

The more I pushed it away,
the more I resisted it,
the louder it became.

Until it paralyzed me.

I hated myself for feeling afraid.

I felt like a coward.
Like a failure.

Will I be enough?
What if I lose the job?
What if it doesn’t work?
and the list continues....

Here’s what I’ve learned.

Fear is not the problem.
The way we relate to it is.

What we do with fear
is what separates growth from stagnation.

For a long time, I tried to get rid of it.

Eventually, I realized something surprising.

It was easier to do the thing that scared me
than to live with the shame of avoiding it.

So I started moving toward fear.

Not recklessly.
Intentionally.

That’s what I mean when I say this:

The fastest way to loosen fear’s grip
is to pursue it.

Bravery doesn’t mean you don’t feel fear.

Fear is normal.
Fundamental.
Human.

What matters is how you respond to it.

If you’re interested in growth,
you’ll face challenges.

If you face challenges,
you’ll feel fear.

That’s not a flaw.
That’s the path.

So here’s the reframe.

When fear becomes a challenge to rise toward
instead of a threat to avoid,
everything changes.

Focus sharpens.
Motivation follows.
Action becomes possible.

Fear drives attention.

If you’re a high performer,
fear will always be nearby.

And if you don’t learn to work with it,
it will quietly work against you.

This is the foundation of grit.

A personal fear practice.

Here’s what most people don’t realize.

The amygdala filters incoming information.
Many of those filters were set early in childhood
by experiences we barely remember.

The result?

Fear often shows up disguised.
As anger.
Blame.
Sadness.
Or irrational thoughts and behaviors.

So the work begins with awareness.

Notice fear in your body.

Once you spot it, stay with it.
Not in your head.
In your body.

Treat it like a messenger.
Not an enemy.

Ask it what it’s trying to protect.

You’ll notice something surprising.

Fear isn’t nearly as bad as you imagined.

Avoiding it is what hurts most.

Our imagination is almost always louder than reality.
The stories in our head tend to be ten times worse
than what actually happens.

For years now, I’ve worked with fear
by doing things because I feel it,
not despite it.

Small reframe.
Huge shift.

Fear becomes a compass.
Risk becomes direction.
Action becomes growth.

Chase fear.
Befriend it.
Build tolerance for it.

Grow with it.

Make 2026 your year.

Your friend and coach,

Carlos