Self-Sabotage: The Last Drop That Spilled the Glass

Hi there,

How was your weekend? Mine involved a lot of reflection, brought on by pain. Let me explain why.

I'm just two weeks away from running my second marathon of the year—crazy, right? It comes just six weeks after the first, and already, I'm feeling the burn. And it's not just physical—it's in my legs, sure, but there's also a mental aspect. Could it be a lack of rest, mental fatigue, or perhaps the fear of not living up to my own expectations?

🔁 Rewind to June 5th, 2016.

That day, I missed a long-held dream by just one minute and three seconds: the four-hour mark in a marathon. Why? Because I took a bathroom break in the final stretch of the race, even though I saw the finish line ahead of me!

Looking at my face at the finish line, you can see the pain. As I floated in the Pacific Ocean post-race, a voice inside my head berated me, reminding me of all the excuses I had made, of the many training sessions I had skipped. I had become a master of justifying my underperformance. That was my aha moment!

I realized I was comfortable, even happy, with underperforming because it meant I could stay in a familiar space of comfort and dependency. Comfort from "having tried" but not succeeded, and dependency because I could go home, play the victim, and be comforted and cared for by others.

Sharing this isn't easy, but it's important. That day, I learned about self-sabotage and the comfort found in underperformance. It was a recurring pattern for me, from being caught cheating in finals week of tenth grade to missing a crucial job promotion meeting. I identified countless moments in my life where I had blocked myself from achieving a reward that I worked for but deep down didn’t truly believe I deserved.

Many of us grapple with the fear of failure, but I've learned that the fear of success can cast an even longer shadow. It's a silent force that undermines our self-worth and feeds into cycles of procrastination and mental fatigue.

That's why I've put together a workshop to explore the roots of procrastination and how mental fatigue keeps us from achieving our full potential. Join me on April 30th at 17:00 PST / 19:00 Quito / 20:00 EST, and for our friends in Asia, May 1st at 8:00 AM, to learn how to break this cycle and embrace a life lived fully.

Before I go, here are a few prompts that helped me confront my own fear of success. I encourage you to reflect on them as well:

I hope these questions offer you the same clarity they've given me. And remember, if you're ready to dive deeper and tackle these challenges head-on, I'm here to help.

See you at the starting line—and at the workshop!

Keep growing,

Your friend and coach,

Carlos