The Borrowed Goals Hangover

Hi there,

Mid-September lands weird.

For some, it’s a sprint to hit the Q3 quota.
For others, it sounds like “can this year be over already?”
For a few, it’s eyes on the beginning of Q4 to finish strong.

But for most… it’s quieter.
A nudge that January’s goals lost their pulse.

I know that feeling.

I did what I was “supposed” to do. I became an engineer.
After getting kicked out in tenth grade, that path made my family proud, call it “the black sheep redeemed” chapter of my life. On paper, I was winning. Inside, I felt the hangover of borrowed goals: low energy, no spark. I slid back into old habits I thought I’d left behind aka the alcohol, the parties, and the in-between.

Then I found coaching where I run an audit that changed my life.
My values. My goals. My actions. And one key line: Who am I becoming?
I learned this during this process: 90 days of goals that fit can beat 270 days of borrowed. The gap wasn’t lack of talent. It was fear.

I made a choice: I named my fears (debt, starting over, being misunderstood, being alone, failure, and even success made the list) and moved toward them.

I went as far as I needed to grow: Asia—Nepal first, then China.

Nepal. I volunteered, I wanted to be uncomfortable, slept in a classroom in a tent, spent my first-job savings, and trekked to Everest, alone. Silence wasn’t empty. It was a mirror, that I had been avoiding for years.

China. I maxed my card and signed up for classes I couldn’t afford. A friend in Shanghai said I could stay on her couch. I took the train. I taught English to toddlers. I took the lowest-rank job in an education business. With my first paychecks (from three jobs) I rented a room with three roommates, all five years younger. Card still at the limit. No guarantees. The uncertainty was real. The joy was, too. The same fears showed up with new faces. I looked at them… and kept going.

Here’s what changed: I stopped wearing masks (doing what others blessed) and started telling the Truth. I came to realize my fears weren’t walls. They were doors.

Borrowed goals vs. goals that fit

A borrowed goal looks good to others and empty to you. You hit it, feel little, then raise the bar and run faster—the hedonic treadmill (a fancy term for wins that don’t make you happier for long).

A goal that fits (aligned) feels different. It pulls you. It may look messy from the outside (three jobs, shared rooms, maxed out cards) but you recognize yourself in the work.

How to tell which one you’re chasing? Ask—no spin, no show:

• When I “win,” do I feel alive or just tired?

• If no one could see it, would I still want it?

• Am I choosing who I’m becoming or how I look?

• If money wasn’t in the equation, would I still do it?

Not for the ’Gram. Not for the dinner table. Just Truth.

The September Audit (your move)

If hearing the word “goal” raise a friction inside of you.
If your goals feel heavy (or forgotten) don’t grind harder.
Run your audit:

• Re-open your values.

• Re-check your goals.

• Recommit to who you’re becoming.

Let the end of September be your January. Choose the next honest step that fits that identity. Take it today. tomorrow. And the next day.

Because real progress isn’t climbing someone else’s ladder.
It’s building the one meant for you, leaning it in the right wall and enjoying the climb.

Moment of truth

Where are you with your 2025 goals—honestly? 75%? 60%? Did they drift?

If this stirred something and you want traction fast, I’m opening a few spots over the next two weeks for a strategy call. Hit reply with “Audit,” tell me where you need clarity, and I’ll send a private booking link. You can gain momentum today so your January comes with momentum and clarity.

Your next choice matters.

Your coach and friend,
Carlos

P.S. Want to pass good energy forward? Send this to one person who’d smile knowing you thought of them today.