This month changed how I see myself

Hi there,

I want to share a small update with you.

Writing a weekly email was more taxing than I expected. Each one took hours of research and a few more to turn into a short five minute read.

I did it because I had the time.
Because it supported the work I do with my clients.
Because it kept me learning.
Because it helped me stay connected with you.

Right now I’m deep in a separate project that needs real focus. So I’m shifting to one email per month, with the same intention behind it.

I’m writing this from Mongolia. I came back about a month ago and it’s the first time I’ve been away this long from Kaia and Enkhi, my girls.

It’s been quiet. And confronting.

A lot of time with myself.

And in that space, a few ideas have been coming together. This season feels like a reset. Health. clarity. habits. spirituality. A reconnection with an older version of me.

Years ago, I labeled myself as not a great person.

When I first got into coaching and self development, I learned reframing. I started revisiting the stories I built in childhood and early adulthood and changing their meaning when they no longer supported my growth.

But I noticed something recently.

I stopped labeling myself harshly.
Yet I kept labeling my past self.

Last Friday I told a friend, I used to be a jerk. I lied. Manipulated. Used people. Got kicked out of school. Avoided hard situations. Took myself too seriously. Then I said, now I think I’m a good person. I like who I am.

While writing this, a new thought landed.

I wasn’t a bad person.
I simply didn’t know better.

That reframe matters. It creates patience. For myself and for others. And patience feels less like a destination now and more like a lifelong practice worth enjoying along the way.

This past month I’ve been working on getting back to what feels like my prime. Or simply waking up clear, steady, and ready for the day without that heavy inner voice saying here we go again.

Here’s what I’m doing.

Health

I joined a gym close to work and asked a coworker to join me. We show up at 6am most mornings. I’m eating mostly whole foods. I still enjoy snacks and sweets, just far less.

I also started physical therapy. I avoided doctors for years. Not anymore.

I’m back to sauna and cold plunge most days. Sleep is a priority. Even with the 13 hour time difference with my family, I protect it. If I wake at 5:15, I’m in bed by 10. Almost non negotiable.

Self care

Skin care used to be a joke for me. I always said I wanted a routine and never followed through. This Christmas I asked Enkhi for help. She gave me a simple three step routine. I’ve done it daily and recently added two more steps. I’m oddly proud of that.

I also stopped making meditation too complicated. Now I do breathing and recentering anywhere. No perfect setup needed.

One more practice that changed my mornings. David’s parents told me they spend their first hour in silence. No phone. No media. Just routine and presence. I’ve adopted it. It’s been a game changer.

Learning

Reading is already a non negotiable for me. Now I add one more step. I actively extract lessons from everything I read or watch. Fiction. biography. thrillers. Doesn’t matter. There is always something to learn.

I also want to recommend an article called Unrot Your Brain, on post grad decay and the fight to feel sharp again by Kylee. It’s about that strange mental dullness many of us feel after school and constant scrolling, and how to rebuild curiosity and sharp thinking again. It hit close to home for me.

I’m also using an app called Opal to reduce screen time. A friend, Stephen, recommended it. My screen time is down more than 30 percent. Blessed the blue sky.

Habit stacking

Doing all this with a full time role, a side business, and daily calls with my girls only works because I stack habits.

Audiobooks while running.
Breathing in the cold plunge.
Face masks during FaceTime.
Thinking walks to the coffee shop.
Chess at lunch.

Small overlaps make it possible.

If any of this gives you a bit of motivation, good. Not because I can do it, but because none of this is talent. It’s effort and consistency.

If your year started heavy, try one small shift from this list. Incremental better is more than good enough.

And if you ever need someone to talk to, I’m here.

Your friend and coach,

Carlos