What Are You Still Carrying That Was Never Yours?

Hey there, it’s Carlos.

There’s a phrase I grew up with “carry your cross.”
It came from my Catholic upbringing. Christ. Burden. Duty.

For years, I took that image literally and metaphorically. I thought the pain I carried was mine to hold. That if I was struggling, it meant I was doing it right. That suffering was the cost of becoming a “better person.”

But here's the truth I’ve come to believe:
We all carry things we were never meant to carry.

Sometimes it’s guilt.
Sometimes it’s unprocessed grief.
Sometimes it’s a version of ourselves we outgrew years ago
but haven’t yet let go of.

In Reforged, we start with that.
We ask:
What’s the dead weight you’ve been hauling around?
What belief, what pressure, what memory… doesn’t belong to you anymore?

For me, that cross used to be made of guilt.
Now, I can see it as something else, lessons. Growth. Something I can set down.

Because when we stop carrying what’s not ours, we can finally start choosing how we want to live.

What’s Fueling You?

One thing I’ve seen over and over:
People are driven by guilt, shame, or anxiety, and they don’t even know it.

They’re “succeeding” but feel hollow.
They’re producing results, but burning themselves out on cortisol and adrenaline.
They’re playing a game they never meant to enter.

So much of burnout isn’t about doing too much,
it’s about doing from the wrong fuel.

That’s why the first step is awareness.
Not to judge yourself.
But to see yourself.

We do this through reflection, nervous system work, and what we call Mirror Moments.
You start to spot what’s driving you and whether that engine is actually taking you where you want to go.

What Game Are You Playing?

Once you remove the weight, the next question is this:

What game are you in right now?
And are you even dressed for it?

A lot of people are wearing football pads on a ski slope.
Or playing chess while life is playing dodgeball.

Here’s what I believe:
You can’t win or lose at life. You can only play.
So the question becomes: What’s your game?
And how do you want to play it?

This is where anti-fragile confidence begins.

Not the kind that comes from “positive thinking.”
The kind that comes from knowing (deep down) that no matter what life throws your way, you have what it takes to respond.

Building Real Confidence

Confidence means intense trust.

It means you show up for yourself, again and again, even when itseems impossible.
It means doing what you said you’d do.
Choosing the walk over the scroll. The salad over the burger.
Doing the work, when comfort is screaming your name.

This isn’t hustle culture.
This is reclaiming your energy.

If you want to master yourself, start by mastering your fundamentals.
Sleep. Nutrition. Movement. Breath. Focus. Celebration. Prosperity.
That’s the foundation.

(And as an engineer, I can tell you: if you want to build something tall, you’ve got to dig deep.)

Want to get started, try this:

What are you still carrying that’s no longer yours?
What game are you playing?
Do you like the way you’re playing?
If not, take action today.

Your friend and coach,
Carlos