When You Care Too Much to Begin

Last week, a client came to our session stuck. And not just a little stuck. She had been sitting on a project for weeks, one she cared about deeply.

She had notes. She had voice memos. She had scheduled time to work on it for the past two weeks but every time the schedule said, time to work on it. She chose to do something else.

She had all these ideas but nothing she felt proud to share with others.

I asked her what was getting in the way.

She exhaled. Looked away. Then said:

“If I start writing, it might not come out the way I see it in my head. I’ll ruin it. This is my one chance”

That moment hit hard.

Not because it was unique. But because it was familiar.

This is the hidden cost of perfectionism I see over and over, especially in high performers:

A deep fear of tainting something that matters.

When we want to get it “right,” we delay.

When we care about the outcome, we hesitate.

When we tie our self-worth to the quality of the work… we avoid doing the work at all.

Inside the Session

Here’s what we did in that session, not a fix, and definitely not a hack. Just a shift.

I didn’t ask her to commit to the full draft. And I didn’t tell her to “just start.”

I asked her:

“What’s one sentence you already know you want to say?”

She thought for a second. Then said it out loud. And when she heard it? She lit up.

She didn’t need approval. She didn’t need a green light. She just needed a place to begin that didn’t feel like a test.

Then I asked her:

“If this idea already exists, what’s something small you could do to protect it but also let it breathe?”

Her answer wasn’t perfect. But it was honest. And more importantly, it was hers.

As I write this email, she texted me to share she had finished the presentation in a few hours after our session.

Two weeks of procrastination, scrolling on socials, replying to emails, and feeling guilty knocked down in half a day.

The Work Beneath the Work

This is what I help people do in coaching, not just hit deadlines, or write faster, or “optimize” their workflow.

Although we work on these too.

I help them get under the work. To the emotions they’ve been trained to skip past. To the invisible rules they’ve been living under.

To the fears that whisper:

• If it’s not ready, you’re not ready.

• If it’s messy, it means something is wrong.

• If you don’t do it perfectly, you shouldn’t do it at all.

We identify and question that voice together.

We find time to slow things down.

We shift the goal from flawless execution to motion and progress.

That’s where everything changes.

Your Play of the Week:

Start with a sentence. Not a solution.

If you’ve been avoiding something because it’s not perfect yet, try this:

Open a note.
Write down the raw-content, be honest and playful.
That’s it.

The goal isn’t to finish it.
The goal is to show your nervous system: we can begin imperfectly and still be okay.

And if you need help unlearning the pressure to perform, to polish, to prove your worth every time?

That’s what I’m here for.

I’ve got 3 spots open for coaching interviews in September. If you’re ready to reclaim 4–6 hours of your day without the cortisol spike, just reply with a 👍🏽.

I’ll send over a short 3-minute video on how this works and how we bridge the gap between where you are and where you want to be.

Keep growing,
Your friend and coach,
Carlos