What Aristotle Taught Me in a Shanghai Hotel Room

Hey there,

This past week in China didn’t go how I expected. I came in with a clear plan: work on my program, connect with people, focus deeply.

And yet... here I am, staring at my screen in a hotel room, realizing how little I’ve been able to do what I planned.

The culprit?

Let’s just say that even with a VPN, the internet here has been challenging. 

Calls drop.
Research crawls.
Creating content feels like a fight.

It’s made me reflect on just how many invisible tools I rely on to feel productive.

But rather than sit in frustration, I’ve tried something different: I’ve been letting go of the grip I had on what should be happening, and turning toward what can.

So I’ve been reading. A lot. Studying values, virtues, and the psychology of a good life. And somewhere between coffee breaks and a few chess games, I stumbled across Aristotle again.

You might remember him as the “Golden Mean” guy. But what he actually said (and how relevant it is to our modern chaos) is blowing my mind this week.

Aristotle’s Golden Mean (The Ancient Answer to Burnout?)

Here’s the deal:

Aristotle believed that every virtue has two dangers, too little of it (deficiency) and too much (excess).

Take courage. Too little? You’re a coward. Too much? You’re reckless.

Humility? Too little becomes arrogance. Too much, and you start erasing yourself.

This framework invites a radical kind of self-honesty. Not about whether you're being “good,” but whether you're balanced aka that Golden Mean. There is no perfection— we are human after all. I think what he was after was something more human: harmony.

In coaching, we’d call this a Mirror Moment. One client recently said, “I thought I needed more discipline. Turns out, I needed more self-compassion.”

Same coin. Different sides.

What About You?

As part of this reflection, I took the VIACharacter Strengths Survey (shoutout to Ryan Niemiec and the folks at VIACharacter.org). Over 15 million people have taken it, and it’s one of the more research-backed ways to identify your top virtues.

Mine? Love, curiosity, spirituality, honesty, and gratitude.
Apparently, I’m built for warm conversations and deep dives, who would’ve guessed it?

Here’s my invitation:
→ Take 10 minutes and fill it out for yourself.
→ Look at your top five.
→ Ask: When I’m at my best, how are these showing up?
→ Then ask: Where might I be overusing or underusing them?

Aristotle would say the work is to aim for the virtuous mean, not perfection. To try, miss, adjust, and try again… that’s the key to stop from autopilot, and live with intention.

One Last Thought (Before the VPN Cuts Out Again)

I’ve spent years optimizing: systems, schedules, inputs. But this week reminded me that optimization isn’t always the answer.

Sometimes, the answer is wisdom. Ancient. Messy. Incomplete.
And it starts with this question:

Are you living in alignment with your virtues or just trying to get things done?

This reminds me of what I shared a few months back about creating your purpose. Not waiting for a lightning bolt of meaning to strike, but actively shaping it, day by day, through your choices, your values, and how you show up.

Virtues give us the raw material. But it’s on us to shape the life.

Let me know what shows up for you. Hit reply with your top strengths. I’d love to see how our paths overlap.

Talk soon,
Carlos